If you have never looked at any poetry from Morgan Harper Nichols, please do. It is amazing how God can use the simplest or even unexpected and random parts of your life and day to speak to you. I was quite challenged by something she brought up and felt the need to take the time to think about how to prepare myself for the transition, not just from this PhD, but from South Africa.
I feel I am in a very interesting place where I have such a cute community of people in my life right now and have found such amazing folk in Cape Town, and this year it’s majorly been more people that I resonate with in certain life aspects. I have to say though, that came from being quite intentional and daring about who I spent my time with and the spaces I occupied but it has really paid off. It has reminded me to continue to put a lot of emphasis into thinking through what I do so that the goals I have for myself are met. Meeting like-minded can only really happen if we are deliberate about searching for and being in places where we know there are more like-minded people such as ourselves, otherwise are we really setting ourselves up for successful? This is something that came to mind from a devotional that I was reading this week, but we will touch in this more in part 2 of this blog series.
It is also a bit interesting that I find myself in a space where I feel quite ready, okay and satisfied with leaving Cape Town and everything in it behind. I told myself from the start that we’re here to catch flights and not feelings, because immigration is a risky business sometimes, but I am doing my best to hold on to hope from here and keep my options open. I just feel like for the sake of my heart, it’s best that plans and my mental preparedness is centred more around me leaving than in staying because DHA said a couple of things in February about foreigners getting jobs here or staying here and I am soo over it fam. We move. I am going to take time though, to find out if I have truly been in a place of contentment about going, or that I forced myself to be at peace with leaving since I felt that that was the best option for my heart and my soul to best come to terms with certain circumstances. But honestly, I really do feel fine. I feel like this year I have got to do several things in Cape Town and challenge myself and it has left me with quite a feeling of wholeness. [Cues in ‘whole’ by Jonathan McReynolds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS0qoo6–y4 ]
This part 1 involves seeking counsel from my friends and others that have walked this journey of transitioning out of grad school, into the workplace and also navigating the immigration space. I didn’t want to move again and I actually want to make sure that after this, I don’t have to move for another 3-5 years (unless God signals otherwise), because I am in a place where I know I don’t like living out of a suitcase, changing my address every other year, getting a new number, changing bank accounts and having to figure out your tribe and social circle all over again. I want to settle and establish roots for myself going forward from here and I pray that God may give me the wisdom, support and opportunities needed in order for that to happen.
As I get through all that I am getting through, especially when it comes to seeking counsel, I am allowing myself to be vulnerable with my friends (with wisdom, discernment and in a very selective way) because I want the people to whom I feel it matters and who just really need to know to be aware of where I am at. People can’t be there for you if they don’t know how to be there for you, so you’ve gotta let them know, innit.
For now, I will have to leave since tomorrow is Monday and your girl has things to put together so that she’s not in a mess as this next week starts.
I want to end things with the pictures below that highlight the major aspects that I will continue to ponder on and ask God to help intervene in. I wanted to write more concerning them but yohh, it’s been a minute since I’ve been out here blogging and my day has been scrambled trying to do 10,000 little adulting things, but do look at the image captions for some “deep” thoughts and insights.
Go over to Morgan Harper Nichol’s Instagram page to see some of the amazing work she does. Every month she has these wonderful well thought-out affirmations she makes and without knowing it, a couple seem so to speak to me in a such a way that I believe can only be the work of God; https://www.instagram.com/garden24co/This speaks to me so much as I learn to live lightly and it is something that a friend, Paballo Chauke reminded me of. If you have lived the immigrant life before, or have had to deal with moving a lot, you understand what it means to have to constantly pick what to move with and what to leave behind. I think, this time around, this choice is a lot more about choosing the lessons, the people, the wisdom, the mindset, the memories, the character, the resolve and the hope that I move on with from here that will help me transition into my next life better after this. I want to move with a lighter heart and that will most definitely involve facing my demons but also releasing whatever baggage I may have been carrying around from the start of this PhD or that may arise as I plan to bring this journey to a close because moving lighter will allow me to have room and space for other things, other people, for God and whatever He will be bringing into my life from here.
Peace out and more love and light from your favourite neighborhood ninja 🙂
mwebazavanessa 